Where you will thank us for flying you.

I am sitting on an Air Asia flight with Janine, bound for Bali (IATA: DPS).  And I am reminded why flying is sometimes annoying.  You see, the woman behind me has horrible body odor.  She looks fine, but her stink is keeping me awake.  Elsewhere on the plane is a screaming child.  And finally, there is someone with an incessant cough.  Yep, we’ve hit the trifecta.

There ought to be a better way.  We don’t stink (or at least we don’t think so), we aren’t sick, and we refrain from screaming.  Airlines that serve preferences aren’t unheard of.  For example, there is an airline that runs smoking only flights to Europe.  And they do pretty well.  So let me introduce Pleasant Airlines.

Here at Pleasant Airlines there are two classes of service:  Pleasant and Economy.  As you board our aircraft, an array of sensors in the jetway will indicate your class of service.  Stinky today?  You will be in Economy.  Running a fever?  Economy.  Screaming child… well you get the idea.

On board the aircraft, the Flight Attendants will have an additional task.  “Excuse me sir, I have arranged a seat for you in economy, your cough is against Pleasant Class policy.”  I figure about a third of any given aircraft would be Economy Class.  A couple layers of thick linen draped between the two classes keep the noise down in Pleasant Class.  And some small modifications to the air circulation system minimize contamination.

Advance seat selection is available only for frequent flyers who consistently fly in the Pleasant Class.  Decisions of the flight crew are final.  Your mileage may vary.

What do you think?  I figure it will be a hit with frequent flyers everywhere.  Even those who get cast off to Economy [when they deserve it] would probably appreciate the process.  I know I would.  Investors sign up now!  If we build it, they will fly.